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The Girl Is Phat: Chocolate Pop-Tart Casserole

Ooll / Pop-Tart Girl Recollections and Recipes

This is the first in a series of occasional mini blogs by respected authors who grew up on Oreos and Pop-Tarts.

Apparently, we all have an emotional reset button. I learned this by reading my online horoscope on today. Not that I would advise putting any emotional decision on what a computer thinks, but it is horrible how it connects to my yahoo horoscope and it seems to me today.

After examining my horoscope, I was foolish to face my fears and step on the scale. I knew it would be bad. I haven't stepped on the scale for at least a year because it's as fun as sticking a fork in my eyes. However, I was completely stripped, even thinking about plucking my eyebrows to save a few ounces, but realizing that even my eyebrows, like Eddie-Munster, might not be so heavy.

I stepped (stupid, awkward, dramatic music), eyes closed. Slowly, I opened one eye and peeked.

After the initial shock of destruction, I developed a sudden case of Tourette and thought about really sticking a fork in my eyes. (I'm having a hard time finding my emotional reset button here, people? Who knows where it is? Does it look like a belly button?

I have an epiphany. That's the idea of ​​a yoga class that I have, where people turn into pretzels, and then eat cheese-covered pretzels, which might not be marketable.

Fortunately, I joined the Weight Watchers two weeks before I stepped on the scale and started a 10-week training program with the goal of running 5K in the fall. But this type of weight loss (17 pounds above my weight) doesn't seem normal.

Now I know I can't blame all those who sit all day in the closet, or in my Pennsylvania ancestors, God bless them, who seem to have an unhealthy attachment to fat and sausages. I need to learn to take care of myself again. This is going to be more challenging than you might think, because I'm an anti-Betty Crocker. I was actually blown away in the kitchen. And burn macaroni and cheese. And sugar-free baked sugar cookies, which are important in the recipe with the word "sugar" in the title. For the first 10 years of my life, I thought Oreo Cookies was one of the main food groups. I didn't even talk.

Seriously, my cooking is a bit scary than when Harrison Ford, playing a police detective in a Witness movie, posing in an Amish country and discovering chow chow, shoofly pie, and schnitz and knepp.

Take my Phat Chocolate Pop-Tart Casserole, for example:

1 Box of Hot Fudge Petals Sundae Pop-Tarts (What? They provide like 7 essential vitamins and minerals and no trans fat or cholesterol!)

1 cup butter

1 cup brown sugar

40 crackers of saltine (using a fat-free variety if it makes you feel better)

12 oz. chocolate chip

Cover cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Salt line on foil. Melt butter and add sugar. Cook until boiling, stirring. Boil 3 minutes. Pour butter / sugar mixture over crackers and spread. Bake at 400 degrees for 5 minutes. Remove from oven (duh). Pour 12 packs of chocolate chips over the mixture and spread with a spoon on all crackers. To help melt the chip, cover with another cookie sheet for a few minutes. Rotate Pop-Tarts and sprinkle with chocolate. Cool for 2 hours. Then part and eat!

PS: I've never made this with Pop-Tarts. But I'm sure it'll be fine.

From the actual Pop-Tart box: As a possible fire risk, don't leave your microwave or microwave unattended. If the pastry is too hot, the freezing / freezing can become very hot and can cause burns. DUH ???

Calories per serving: Who cares.

Fat g: Why do you want to know?

Cholesterol: At least the pop-tart has no cholesterol!

When a substance contains Pyrophosphate sodium, Sodium Stearoyl Lactate, DATEM, Yellow No. 6 Lake, Blue No. 2 Lake, Red No. 40 Lake, Yellow. 5 Lake, you know it must be good. And breakfast is the most important part of the day. Thank you for letting me out of my system.

By the way, I have a book signing tonight at Doylestown Pennsylvania at the Doylestown Bookshop ( Did you know that August 4 is National Champagne Day? Cheers!

Ann Kelly (


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